Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven whose sins are covered. Blessed are those whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. When i kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then i acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. i said, “i will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
amen..
today i just want to give it all up to Him.. to confess the sin that I did.. in the hopes that he will give mercy. i believe praying is one thing.. but praying a proper way.. in the sense of not just asking asking asking.. is so crucial… of course our prayers are being heard.. but if someone keeps asking asking asking without acknowledging what happened before.. does that make you want to help them more? i’m being challenged you today to unload everything.. to ask for forgiveness first before anything else.. we all need His forgiveness everyday find joy in the confession of your sin
you are one of the few people who i actually remember meeting for the first time.. it was in Joe Moons car on the way to NOVA. i even remember reading heart of worship files that day haha
hmm i didn’t really talk to you after that but i would see you around just think you were a big buff strong guy.. still think u are.. but you moving in that one summer was def. God’s plan. it was actually really fun living with you.. the house was clean. we spent a lot of time hanging out together where as the previous semester i didn’t really chill much with paul josh and alex. what was really good is just the things we’ve been through how we were both hurt so much by our past relationships. i honestly wish we could talk more but you’re a busy popular guy and i’m just busy sometimes haha i hope your doing well man.. i try to pray for you but to be honest i kinda forgot about you.. but i’ll def. keep you in my prayers.
anyways the reason why i took this picture and wanted to blog was just to say thanks. i’ve learned a lot from you whether you know it or not. i’m admire your passion for playing drums, i see it though how much you’ve gotten better and just the fact that you always want to play haha. i hope you keep playing drums for Him man and keep recieving what he has to offer for you. just wanted to let you know that ur a real encouragement for me.
This was the verse in my morning devotional yesterday. i feel lately that God is really pushing me to learn on my own and to seek him with out the guidance of a pastor’s sermon but to spend my own time reading and taking in from his word. these verses are really relatable to what has been going on these couple of weeks.
6-7:”Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all you anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Yea he really does.. sometimes..its hard to feel it but its always there.. He was never not with me..
about a week ago.. i really felt such a strong presence of the enemy… it was like he kept whispering in my ear hey hey there’s another way around this, or hey don’t u want to feel happy? won’t u be happier with her?
8-11:”Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him standing firm in the faith, because you know that your fellow believers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
sigh.. yeah i needed that.. i thought things were getting better but i really need to be on my guard. it’s not done and over with just like that.. i still need to fight certain feelings and resist urges…
On the day I called You answered me And the hope in My soul increased I lift my hands And turn my eyes To the God who heals my heart And gives me peace
You are more than My words could ever say You are Lord over all Over all my days I will see this season through I will fix my eyes on You Only You Only You
I feel so sad… I feel so sorry… I feel so shocked to have witnessed what happened
Its hard to go to God during this time.. i kinda just wanna sit alone.. and ponder.. think.. and remember everything we went through.
i miss us.. man i feel like a little girl.. i thought i could do this.. thought i could get through it without this step.. but i guess everyone goes through it i know you are.. i know it hurts.. and i’m sorry.. you looked a lot brighter today… and so happy to see me.. i was too.. but inside i knew why i wanted to meet you…
u told me today.. a lot of things.. it hurt a lot.. not just what you said exactly but how you said it.. in my head it was so harsh…and it was hard to think that those things were coming from you. but i was scared… u laughed or giggled or something.. but i was scared… to think those were things coming from you… sigh..i’m sorry.. for everything.. for hurting you.. for misleading you.. for things ending up this way.. i’m really sorry.. sorry for being an idoit..
i feel like theres no closure and there might never be… iono if ur doing it on purpose or not.. but.. i don’t like saying bye to you either… if u are doing it on purpose ur pretty clever.. but I caught on haha..
I really need God. but its just so hard.. i guess eventually with time.. it’ll be easier.. but the thought of me not liking u or you not liking me kinda worries me.. and i don’t like that… but i gotta do what i gotta do…
goodnight.. i hope you’re sleeping well
haha i just saw a strangers again thing that one of my friends posted…
thanks for keeping me warm today haha i checked the weather and i wore shorts and a t shirt.. omg it was freezing.. i saw the jacket that u gave back to me in my car and it kinda saved my life.. now i’m warm hah
thank you :)
oh yeah..it still smells like you..i kinds like that
man today was so nice. atleast the weather was. I guess today was the first day that i kinda couldn’t hold it any more.. being tough, being a guy being encouraging and not showing how hurt i actually was is starting to wear off.. yeah i went there. do u recognize this place? haha i bet you do! i took you here a couple of times. it was so pretty today and i had about an hour to kill so i decided to go. being at that place was nice. relaxing.. i sat on the grass looking at the tree that was starting bloom in the cool shade and as i was, my mind started to wander.. and that “mood” sets in. i thought about you.. what you must be going through.. all the things that i probably couldn’ve done differently/better… i miss you too.. if i don’t seem like it..sorry.. i’m trying really hard..to be good at being strong in front of you… i feel like i need to be but its not easy.. i don’t even know how i’ve got through these 2 days.. yeah.. its only been 2 days.. seems longer right?… yeah me too.. haha i hope you’re reading this…or else it just seems like i’m asking myself questions… babo eric.. man there is one thing.. thats bothering me.. and i wish u would’ve listened.. but.. theres nothing i can do.. i know more than u think… and it sucks that i know cause it just makes me angry..jealous.. sad.. its so unfair.. i can’t talk to you… but they can talk to you.. gbaowngvoaem ne ways.. i guess that wraps up my trip down there.. it just reminds me of you now.. some ways thats good.. i miss you…
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